Sorry Friends

Our lives are changing fast.
As most of you know,
Luke accepted an assistant pastoring job in Stittsville.
He starts May 1st.
Lately our lives have been consisting of every
ounce of spare time looking at houses online,
making appts to see them,
talking about them,
searching for a van
and trying to stay caught up on our photography
which has been booming for the first few months of this new year
and we have actually had to turn a fair bit of people down for family sessions and such.
In the middle of all this craziness of searching,
Luke is still working full time
and we still have our two little bundles that keep us insanely busy.
House hunting has been a stressful endeavor
that we really didn't think was going to be so hard.
But,
when you start looking into the surroundings of Ottawa for a house,
everything gets a lot more pricey and a lot less spacious.
So here we are,
in the midst of a whirlwind
with a pregnant mommy who has a bawl session almost daily,
trying to figure out how everything will work out.
Commuting is not an option.
If Luke was at a 9-5 Monday-friday job,
we would consider commuting
but with pastoring, you just can't.
Your time is so chopped up
with an hour here and 2 hours there.
So all of that being said,
we have been horrible friends.
We have barely socialized with anyone in the past little while now
and it is not that we don't want to,
it is just that any spare time that we have had,
we are exhausted because we have been running back and fourth,
here and there.
Our world has shifted,
in a good way
but we are just trying to stay sane while coping with all the changes happening.
Thank you all for being patient with us,
if I haven't returned an email, commented on your facebook,
or given you a phone cal recently,
please don't take offense.
I have been limiting the amount of time I spend on the computer
because there are so many little things around here that I need to spend my spare time on
such as dishes, laundry,
organizing our house for showings because our house is up for sale now
and there usually is a shower in there once in a while. lol
We are so grateful for all our friendships we have and we are very sorry if we have seemed distant.
We would really appreciate your prayers,
I know God has it all planned out for us
but right now it looks like everything we thought was going to work
has fallen through.
We are onto a new adventure and we are ready for all the unknowns to be shown.

Thanks so much!!!

My Spirited Child

Knowing your children and their personalities is SO important.

I can't stress how incredibly important it is!

Especially when you are staying home with them 24/7.

I have really been trying to understand my youngest.

Ellie.

Pea was so easy to get.

Right from the start,

I noticed so many personality traits of myself in her.

I just seemed to get her right away.

Ellie on the other hand,

I have struggled to understand.

She is becoming more and more her own person

as she grows older and older.

From the beginning, 

we had this idea that she may be a really quiet, shy girl.

then she got her voice

and everything changed.

She really grew into herself more and more

and each day her personality grew.

She is such a vibrant

full of spunk little toddler.

She has a mind of her own and she is not afraid to let you know.

Luke sent me an article not too long ago

about the "spirited child"

written by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and this is what she said:

 

"Living with a toddler can be like sharing a house with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And if your child is "spirited," the toddler years can be especially trying.
What defines a spirited child? "All toddlers are busy: They're climbing and jumping and throwing things," says Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, author of the popular books Raising Your Spirited Child and Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles: Winning for a Lifetime."But the high-energy kid is the one who can get to the top of the refrigerator.
All toddlers say 'no' too, but a spirited child's 'no's!' are louder and more frequent, and his tantrums last longer and are more intense. You gradually realize that as a parent you're working harder than your neighbor, whose child is simply not as intense, persistent, and emphatic as yours. Your child is still normal, he's just more of everything."
Spirited kids are definitely a challenge, but there are ways to defuse daily battles and help your toddler learn to control himself. Here are Kurcinka's top strategies:
Let him know what's coming.
All toddlers become anxious when they can't predict what's coming next, but most spirited children need events spelled out to a degree that you might not expect. When it's time to leave the playground and your 2-year-old throws herself on the ground howling, it might be because she's insecure about what's coming next. Tell her in detail: You'll go to the car, we'll drive straight home, find Sis and Dad there, and have spaghetti for dinner.
Remember that with toddlers, words aren't always enough. You might tell her "Daddy will pick you up from daycare this afternoon," for example, but she may well have trouble remembering it all day. In this case, you might ask her daycare provider to remind her later in the day that Daddy's handling pick-up duties.
Sometimes visual cues can help. If Grandma and Grandpa are coming for an annual visit, show her photos ahead of time. You might even make a picture book outlining her bedtime ritual: Bath, pajamas, story, bed. You can't cut all the surprises out of your toddler's life, of course, but you can minimize the stress by giving her a heads-up when you can.
Be clear and consistent.
Spirited children need the security and consistency of clear rules, so it's important to set limits. If nap time is always after lunch and your spirited 3-year-old puts up a fuss, be firm and confident as you enforce his rest period. If movies aren't allowed after dinner but you let him watch "just this one" tonight so you can make a phone call, he'll test you and demand one – forcefully – every night for the rest of the week.
Maintain physical contact.
"As toddlers move toward independence, they still very much need connection," says Kurcinka. Maybe your toddler would like a backrub before bed. Or she might enjoy cuddling with you in a rocking chair in the morning. Have her bring toys into your room so she can play near you while you dress for work. At daycare, sit with her on the floor until she moves into the group on her own.
These tactics may seem to slow you down initially, but they'll actually save you time in prevented tantrums and battles. "Toddlers need to know they can trust you to be there for them. That way they'll ultimately be more independent," says Kurcinka.
Create a "yes" environment.
"Me do!" are a toddler's favorite words, says Kurcinka. Let your child pour his own juice out of a little pitcher, use a fork at dinner, and put on his own shoes. Even if everything is a little messier and takes a little longer, his increased independence and cooperation are worth it.
Also, look at how your house is organized. Is there a low cupboard in the kitchen filled with pots and plastic containers that he can play with? Are his toys and books easy to reach? Is there a bed, couch, or floor pillow that he's allowed to jump on? The more child-friendly your home is, the less you'll be fighting with him to keep away from special things and places.
Avoid danger spots.
If your highly energetic child can't sit still at the table, choose restaurants wisely – or plan a family picnic in the park instead. If she's slow to adapt to new people, don't plop her on Santa's lap. Stay with her and approach Santa gradually – or just wait until next year. And if you find yourself in an overly stimulating situation, such as a playmate's big birthday party, don't be shy about leaving early – before your toddler loses it.
Soothe his senses.
Help your spirited child wind down when the intensity level starts to rise. Water can be especially soothing: Give him a warm bath on a cold night or put a cool washcloth on his forehead on a summer afternoon. For older toddlers, finger paints and modeling clay are also calming sensory activities. For younger toddlers (under 2), it feels good to spread sand, cornmeal, or shaving cream on a play surface.
Acknowledge feelings.
Talk to your spirited toddler about why she's starting to melt down and let her know she's not the only one who is overcome by difficult emotions sometimes. Try saying "The people and the noise are bothering you. They're bothering me too. We'll leave the mall as soon as we've paid for these shoes."
Even if she doesn't seem to learn much from what you say at this age, explain it to her anyway. (Just don't become angry with her when your perfectly logical explanations don't result in quick compliance.) Toddlers usually aren't able to change their behavior in response to verbal reasoning, so keep it short and sweet.
For now, this exercise will help you empathize with your child. And eventually she'll learn to recognize what winds her up before she goes over the edge.
Reward good behavior.
Don't worry that your spirited toddler will get a big head if you praise him. Reinforce his efforts with positive messages: "Good job getting out of the tub when I asked you to" or "You really used your quiet voice at Peter's house today." Try not to pass up a chance to praise the behavior you're trying to teach.
Set realistic expectations.
The many daily transitions adults take for granted – getting out of the house, in and out of the car, to daycare, to the store, home again, going to bed – are especially hard on a spirited toddler, who needs extra time to cope with change and who may become overwhelmed by people and noise.
Ask yourself, "Can I reasonably expect my toddler to handle this? " And when possible, skip unnecessary trips and demands. Do you really have to make that last stop or could it wait?
Avoid using negative labels.
Most important of all, examine the way you describe your toddler. The "wild child" who is "stubborn," "exhausting," and a "crybaby" is also a spirited child who is persistent, energetic, and sensitive – all traits that are admired in adults. Use positive labels when discussing your child with relatives and teachers, and they'll come to see his wonderful attributes too.
And with increased self-esteem, your spirited child will want to learn to behave well. You'll know you're on the right track when your 3-year-old announces to Grandma, "I had lots of energy today!" instead of saying, "I was a bad boy." When you focus on your child's positive features and strengths, it changes your behavior, and that in turn changes your child's behavior.
Give her time to run and play.
Toddlers like to keep moving. Make sure she gets plenty of physical activity and time to explore every day – especially outdoors. Unless they're sleeping, toddlers shouldn't be inactive for more than an hour at a time.
Being active does more than help your toddler improve muscle control, balance, and coordination. When you play games with her where you each take turns, such as kicking a ball back and forth, she'll get practice exercising self-control. As she masters a new physical skill, she'll also gain self-confidence. And the more confident she is, the more well-behaved she's likely to be.
Take care of yourself.
You may find it difficult, if not impossible, to admit that you need more time for yourself. But the house doesn't have to look perfect and the dinners don't have to be gourmet. If it's already midnight and you're exhausted, leave the dishes in the sink.
Rest or take a bubble bath when your child naps instead of vacuuming the living room. Take full advantage of your time at night after your toddler goes to sleep to connect with your partner or a friend, or to relax on your own.
Most important of all, says Kurcinka: "Build a support system. You can't do this seven days a week, 24 hours a day." Your child will benefit when you're revitalized, and so will you. Whether it's your partner, a friend, a relative, or a babysitter, find a consistent caregiver you and your child can trust and let them help out."

As I started reading through this,
I realized this is Ellie in a nutshell.
And how many times have I described her as
"the wild child"
This article really opened my eyes to who Ellie is
and that her traits are not negative.
She is an amazing child
with such a glow and spark!
Sometimes, ok often that spark tires me out.
Often those moments of being in a public bathroom and she hears the
toilet flush or the hand dryer go off and she starts freaking out,
those moments,
they are part of her.
I can't get upset.
I can't get frustrated.
She needs to know that it is ok
and it will not last forever.
That I am here for her
and I will take care of her.
The moments when stopping in at one more store
will set her off,
I need to be ok to not go in.
To just find another time to go.
She is sensitive.
So sensitive.
And that is not a bad thing.
I am 28 and I am probably one of the most sensitive people I have ever met.
but that is one of Luke's favorite qualities about me.
It's funny when you see it on a toddler,
you think so negatively.
Why can't she just stop crying?
Why can't she just be normal?
Why does she have to cry after every little thing that happens to her?
That is just her.
She is perfect the way she is
and I am slowly learning ways to keep those amazing traits
while helping her learn to control them.
Parenting is not easy.
I have said it time and time again.
And the older my children get,
the more effort I have to put into this amazing role God has called us into.
Ellie is my persistent, energetic and sensitive little girl
and I am going to embrace that with all I have.
Even though days will be tough,
understanding her more and more makes
it that much easier to give her a little more patience,
a little more grace,
a little more understanding when needed.

 

 

I Am An Introvert

I used to think when I was in high school

that there was something wrong with me.

I wasn't the class clown,

I wasn't the girl always answering the teachers questions,

I wasn't the teachers pet,

I was barely even remembered a lot of times from teachers.

I almost felt invisible sometimes.

 School did not mix with me

because I kept to myself.

I had my core group of friends,

but beyond that,

I didn't really go.

I didn't participate in the crazy games on stage during lunch.

I wasn't in school plays

or on student council.

I was the person behind the scenes,

doing the hair and make-up for the school plays.

For the longest time,

I never really thought I had much purpose.

I saw all the extroverts,

people who everyone knew,

everyone liked,

everyone wanted to be around.

And then there was me.

In grade 12,

I pushed myself out of my little shell.

Not to be someone I wasn't,

but to see what I could do.

I pushed myself on stage for our youth rally

which was HUGE for me,

I pushed myself to be more outgoing.

but it just wasn't me.

As much as I pushed myself,

I never got over that uncomfortable feeling.

The feeling like I wasn't myself.

I thought maybe I had issues,

maybe there was something wrong.

Over the years I have really started understanding myself more and more.

There was nothing wrong with me.

There still isn't.

Not everyone is built to be on stage.

Not everyone is built to be the loud mouth.

I can still have a loud mouth,

but it is not going to be heard in front of a huge crowd.

I am much better one on one.

That is where I am strong.

I am better in small groups.

And that is ok.

I don't "HAVE" to be the center of attention.

and that's ok.

I have really started learning about my strengths,

and why God made ME the way I am.

So for all those people that constantly come up to me and say

"can't wait to see you singing on stage with your husband and little girls"

or 

"when will I see you up on that stage",

it's probably not going to happen.

I am not made for that

and I have come to realize that

THAT IS OK!

As much as I push myself,

that is just not me.

We need extroverts for this world to run

but we also need the introverts!

It takes all kinds of people and just because you are not like the person next to you

does not mean that there is something wrong with you.

Luke showed me this blog the other day and I really enjoyed some of the articles I have read:

http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/

A little quote I read recently

"COME OUT OF YOUR SHELL"

"That noxious expression that fails to appreciate that some animals 

naturally carry shelter wherever they go,

and that some humans are just the same"

Susan Cane "quiet"

And I saw this on Pinterest:

 

The Joys Of Parenting

I am having a really hard time right now.

This blog is a way for me to vent.

and if I can't be honest with myself,

than who can I be honest with?

These last few days have honestly been horrible.

I am not going to lie.

They have been darn right awful!

You think that going on a trip away for a week

will be so amazing and you will come back so relaxed and ready for anything.

We really did have an amazing trip

but I was not prepared for what I came back to.

The first 2 days back were great!

I was so happy to see my girls,

they were so happy to see me.

Life was grand!

We were playing, reading stories, laughing!

Then everything changed.

The girls started getting very bold with me,

not listening,

fighting ALL THE TIME!

Ellie has been in an awful mood, talking back, 

dinner has become a scream fest.

I don`t know what has happened! 

Where everything went wrong.

We've had more tears in the last 3 days than we have in the last month!

I have been on the verge of insanity,

trying to hold it together but barely passing.

I know parenting is tough,

maybe I am a wimp.

Tonight,

after a scream fest at dinner,

I decided to let the girls have a bath.

It started out ok, the girls were laughing and playing together.

Then the screaming started,

the hitting started,

the splashing started, 

the crying.

It was RIDICULOUS!!

I have never seen a bath turn so awful in the blink of an eye.

I took them out immediately,

got their pj`s on, 

read them a story,

gave them their bottles

and put them to bed.

At 6:30pm.

Maybe I will regret it tomorrow morning when they wake up at 5am

because I put them to bed so early,

but right now, 

I just can`t handle it.

I am going to lose it!

I don`t know if this is what I get for leaving them for a week,

or if it is just a phase they are starting

but something has got to change.

 I am ready for Luke to be home tomorrow so I can have a break,

to re-group.

Figure out how we are going to survive this stage.

I love my girls to death!

But having 2 toddler girls in the same house while you are pregnant,

not sure if it was the greatest idea! lol

I know God gives you nothing you can't handle,

but right now,

I am really feeling like I am at the end of my rope.

Who knew parenting was so hard.

 

The Battle

Facebook.

I have been battling facebook for a while now.

They say facebook has opened up a whole new way to communicate.

but then again

it has closed so many forms of communication.

I really like facebook for being able to share pictures and videos

of my girls to my best friends that are out of town.

I love how easy it is for them to be able to be part of our lives,

even when they live so far away

and we only get to see each other maybe once a year.

Other than that,

I really dislike facebook.

I hate how facebook has made it so easy to see what 

is going on with people in your very own town.

Instead of calling them up

or having them over for tea,

you can go to their page and get caught up on everything that has

been going on in their lives lately.

I am such a culprit for this.

It is aweful!

You can creep peoples pages without leaving a trace.

Facebook makes "relationships" too easy.

It bothers me.

but can you really call them "relationships"?

"friendships"?

 Everything is done online.

Life outside of the online world is non existant.

I am really having a hard time with this.

I have debated deleting my facebook for this very fact,

but then I am cutting out those closest to me that are so far away.

 I am not sure how to balance it

or how to change it.

Facebook.

My daily dilema.

and where do I go from here?

I have wasted too much time on this silly little site.

time away from my girls.

time away from my husband.

Does anyone else have this problem?

It sucks you in.

If you have any curious bone in your body,

you find yourself going from one page to the next.

But where do you call it quits?

How do you break this habit?

Do you just cut it off?

 

Documenting

I wanted to document the girls.

I know,

most of you are probably saying

"oh my gosh, does she not have enough pictures of her girls?"

but the thing is,

these pictures are a way of me remembering.

Remembering all those little moments that I would most likely forget.

Remembering the little things

like the way Pea always puts a blanket over her baby

and Ellie like to put her babies on time out.

I can remember how much Pea cares for her babies

and how Ellie constantly feeds hers.

I can remember the thousands of kisses 

they give out each day

and how they love to brush their teeth and will do

so for over an hour if I let them.

I want to remember all the little things that make them who they are.

I love that I can watch them grow every day.

Learn new things

and change.

I love that I can notice each little stepping stone

because I share the journey with them.

I love that I can whip out my camera and follow them around for 

a morning just to remember where they spend their mornings.

I documented a morning of their sweet little lives.

It consisted of babies, babies & more babies.

With a little teeth brushing as well.

They are in love with babies right now.

Dressing, feeding, burping, swaddling, changing bums, rocking.

Anything that involves a baby,

they are there.

It is quite amazing to watch them with their little dolls.

To see how God put such a nurturing nature into our souls.

Even at the young ages of 1 & 2.

So here is our morning, in pictures....

Anger

I have been spending the last 2 days

trying to process what is going on in this world.

trying to make sense of it all.

but is there any sense to make of it?

I have been trying to understand.

to show love without anger.

but the truth is,

I am angry.

I am angry that a man can kill innocent children.

I am angry that this scenario is even possible.

that this world has gone so dark.

I know there is light in this world.

but sometimes it is hard to cut through the darkness 

to be able to see the light.

This whole thing broke my heart.

and as much as I don't want to admit,

it shot fear right into me.

fear for my own children.

that I can't even send them to school knowing that they will be safe.

I have decided to homeschool. 

At least for the first few years.

Not because of this reason.

I have known for a while now.

but because of this, it makes me want to do it so much more.

I know I cannot keep my children in a bubble.

I know I cannot keep them from harm.

but there is so much evil in this world

and it honestly scares me.

and if I can keep my children away from that evil for even

a fraction of time, I want to.

I want to do everything I can!

I cannot even imagine what the mothers of those children

in Connecticut feel at this moment.

I know I would not be as strong as some.

I know the Lord is with them,

and He is pouring His peace and love into them.

but I just can't imagine what they are going through.

It takes guts to live in this world and not hide from it.

It takes even more guts to bring children into this world.

Where do we go from here?

What happens next?

I can say all the things that Christians would say at this time like

God is our protector

and we should not live in fear

and love is the answer

but at the moment,

I am angry at our world.

and I am fearful of what's yet to come.

I know God did not do this.

I know God had no part in it.

It is just the opposite.

The world has rejected God.

Sin has crept in and taken over.

It frightens me,

what man is capable of.

I will hold my girls tight

and love them with everything I have in me!