Monday, April 30, 2012

Daddy's Perspective

Daddy's weekend as a Mommy.

So a few days ago I noticed that my wife was due for a break.  Sitting on the couch together talking about life and being parents I realized Mommy needed to get away.  So being the good husband I think I am, I said to her, "why don't you take a few days and get away".  At this moment I entered myself into an unknown world, a whole weekend with a toddler and a one year old baby. 

It was Saturday morning 0830 hours, children were getting up.  From this moment on I was taking care of the kids until mommy returned sometime in the near but distant future.  I got the girls fed dressed and ready for the day while mommy got packed and ready to go.
First task into uncharted waters was putting my 2 year old's hair into pig-tales.  It was a struggle but before my wife left she stayed to supervise the hairdo attempt.  After several tries, one loud roar of frustration and twenty minutes, I had succeeded in getting my child's hair out of her face. 
By the time mommy left and daddy got himself together it somehow already became lunchtime, where does the day go while you are taking care of kids?  Saturday was just filled with daddy and his girls, we played on the floor, we went for a walk, we watched a show and then had Pizza Hut!
One special note of attention I would like to make is that I didn't think it was possible to change 6 poopy bums in one day, but somehow I managed to. 
By the end of the day the girls cuddled me while they drank their bottles I got them ready for bed after a wild bath time, were daddy, fully clothed,  was as wet as his girls.  With them both silently in their beds I took some time to think about the day and came to the realization, I need a weekend away and is not even been 12 hours yet.  If you are a father and you think your wife has it easy while you go to work every day, think again. 
I made the smart decision to stay up late and do taxes even with the full knowledge that tomorrow was going to be a big test, CHURCH.  As I lay in my bed missing my wife I made a calculated decision that saved my life, set the clock half hour earlier than normal.  If I had any chance of getting to church with Priscilla's hair done I knew I needed at least an extra 20min. 

0730 Sunday morning came way to early, but within minutes it was all worth it because the sound of excitement coming from both the girls room fully energized me.  I made the mistake of not getting clothing out for the girls the night before, but even with that I got the girls fed, dressed, hair done (only pea) and somehow put myself together and out the door EARLY??? Yes EARLY.  In fact I made it to church with 15 minutes to spare.

While at church I thought to myself how proud I was, "ha Lee-Anne can't do this, but I AM A MAN and I DID GET THEM HERE EARLY".  Within seconds my bubble of pride would be popped.  I thought it would be good to brag to my mother about getting here early.  In her wisdom she informed me that I didn't have to do my hair, makeup all while trying to get babies to church.  All I had to do was brush my teeth and throw some cloths on, whatever was on the floor.  Then I thought about it harder, I don't even think I brushed my teeth.  I was so concerned with being SUPER DAD by getting to church on time, I forgot not only to brush my teeth, but a certain under arm application was also unfortunately forgotten. 

What I learned about church is this, it's hard.  It is hard to be alone watching two little girls, try to connect with people, all while trying to remember you are there to worship God.  I get that it is hard for mommies of young children.  In our situation it makes this a bit more complicated because of my involvement in the church I am not much help to Lee-Anne on a Sunday morning.  So even though I was there early it didn't mean much because church is a busy time with little ladies.

The rest of the weekend went pretty well, Sunday afternoon we got to go over to Mama's house and spend the afternoon and evening.  It was great to watch my girls play with their grandparents and to see how much they love them. 

That night I stayed over at my parents and had Ellie sleeping in the same room as me.   Being the good father I am I decided when I went to bed to watch something on my phone, with headphones on, who do you think I am?  But nonetheless Ellie still woke up, but I took a rare opportunity to bring her in with me and snuggle her back to sleep with me.  It was a very precious moment.

The next day we had a fun morning just the 3 of us, but the girls were up way earlier that normal so by the afternoon I was beat, soooooo, we headed over to the other Nana's house for that afternoon.  I realize that you are probably now thinking, "he didn't do it all alone, half the weekend he spent with the kids grandmothers."  That may be true but i Still did my fair share of work!

What did I learn from this whole experience you might ask?  Give mothers out there the credit their due.  You may have a very tireing job, but nothing is like being a full time parent.  You don't have time to yourself, your whole day revolves around the needs of others, and what an amazing and selfless job that is.  I didn't have that mommy moment where I broke down and cried something like, "I'm not me anymore I am just a Daddy...sniff...sniff...sniff, but any longer and I probably would have.  My hat goes off to all the mommies out there, as well as maybe the daddies that do this alone, but what I do know is that parenting was never supposed to be done alone!

Luke


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Mommy Vacation

After my last post,
Luke and I had a long conversation and he offered
to look after the girls and send me on a "mommy vacation" to Toronto
to visit a dear friend Sarah.
At first I was hesitant.
I have NEVER went on a vacation without at least part of my family.
If the girls aren't there, at least Luke is.
but not this time.
Luke was going to stay home and watch the girls.

by the way:
I have the MOST AMAZING husband a woman could EVER ask for!

So I agreed.
I knew Luke would be fine.
He is a wonderful daddy that is very involved with our girls
so he knows what they like and how they like it.
but
I was still hesitant.
I felt selfish.
Luke assured me that this is just what I need and to go.

I was so happy I went.
I visited my friend Sarah Klein Geltink in Guelph.
She is a BEAUTIFUL girl
inside & out.
She is someone I know I can pour my heart out to and not feel judged.
She loves me for me.
She is a self-less, Godly woman and I am so thankful 
that first year Luke was at Tyndale I got to meet her.
Some people could call it fate.
Some people could call it coincidence.
but I KNOW
God was there.
He made it happen.
And I know that our friendship will last for a long time!
Thank you Sarah for opening your doors and for being an amazing comfort. 


I spent monday going downtown to my ol' stompin ground
Younge & Dundas
I did a little shopping at the Eatons Centre,
the mall I used to skip class and spend hours wandering!
It was crappy weather though so my Queen St shopping was very limited.
I stopped by my friend Crystal's on the way home
to spend the night with her and her lovely little 5 month old girl
in Peterborough.
It was so nice to finally get to meet Charlotte
but it made me miss my girls so terribly much!

I got home today
and I was SO EXCITED to see my family.
It was nice to get away and have a "ME" weekend 
but there is nothing like snuggling in bed with my two little girls and my hubby!
I am thankful I got to go.
It was definitely refreshing
and God definitely showed His face a lot throughout the weekend.
There were a fair bit of tears but I know it was just what I needed.

Thank you to my AMAZING hubby for letting me go 
and for my mom and Brenda for keeping an eye on the 3 of them while I was gone!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

HARD

Parenting.
It is the hardest thing I have EVER done.
I don't want to scare all of you
who don't have children yet.
but I can't just pretend that life is a bubble
and go on acting like I am put together
and that I have it all figured out.
because truth is
I have NO idea what I am doing.
I am just going with the flow.
trying to figure it out.
one day at a time.
I like to say that I am so glad I had my two girls close.
but I am also so exhausted from the reality of it all.
Pea is 2.
Maelle is 1.
Lately I have been worn down.
exhausted.
the last 2 weeks I feel like I am just existing
with no real reason than to yell at my children
to stop fighting.
They are constantly at each other.
My day is filled with tears.
If it's not one.
It's the other.
All the time.
When Pea turned 2,
I feel like she turned into a different child.
One who is testing EVERYTHING.
yes, I know.
That's what a toddler is.
but then you throw Maelle into it all.
the sweet little blue eyed girl that is so mischievous
 and just eggs her sister on.
I am not saying this to get pity.
nor do I want you to tell me that this is parenting and you will get through it.
I know I will.
I just need to vent.
To let it out.

When Luke said he was going to become a youth pastor,
I was so happy for him.
I knew he would be great.
and he IS!
No doubt about it.
but I never really understood what being a youth pastors wife would look like.
 I look at pastors wives with a whole new admiration.
It is HARD.
Luke is gone most days during the week.
Then you add senior youth.
and junior youth.
and worship practice,
in the evenings.
then you put random friday night events in with it all.
AND THEN you add two little girls and a wife
and you have a FULL schedule.
I admire Luke for what he is doing.
He is making a difference.
Being a light.
It is just hard.
Life right now is hard.
I am trying to be optimistic.
 Trying to be a good support.
But I am getting worn.
Life is wearing me down.
slowly.
I don't know how to stop it.
or slow it down.
I'm getting dragged behind a moving truck.
inch by inch my skin is peeling off.
I feel like I am not myself anymore.
I am turning into this bitter human being.
I don't want that.
for me
or my girls.
or my husband.

Again.
I am not saying this to get pity.
I just need to let it out.
Let you know that if I am not acting myself,
it is not you.
It is me.
I have a beautiful family.
a wonderful husband.
2 gorgeous girls.
We just need to get through these tough times.
and look to a brighter future.
I know this will not last forever.
I know that I will survive.
but right now.
I am at my low.
I am not all put together like I may seem on a sunday morning. 
and I may pretend just so I can get away from people asking me questions.
but
I love my girls like nothing else in this world.
and I will keep doing so until the day I die.

Having kids is the HARDEST but most REWARDING thing I have ever done.


Monday, April 9, 2012

Birthdays, Birthdays, Birthdays

This is the first year.
The first year of many.
The first year to celebrate two little girls birthdays.
Maelle turned 1.
Pea turned 2.
We decided this year,
we would have a joined birthday.
The first of many I am sure.
So we prayed for nice weather.
and got our pen and paper out
to write down what we needed for the big day.
We held it at my moms.
Nothing too fancy.
Just a whole lot of kids and some of the most important people 
in my two little girls lives.
FAMILY.
Invites only went out to people who are blood related.
Or as close to blood related as you can possibly get.
The guest list included:
Grandparents. Great Grandparents. Aunts. Uncles. Nephews. Nieces.
and of course
TK & Lindsay
Which are pretty much family as it is.
Since Pea calls them 
Uncle Bakua & Aunt DiDi
They are blessed to have so many amazing people in their lives.
So many people to pour their hearts out
into these little girls.
To love them.
and teach them.
and show them right from wrong.
Sometimes parents are just not enough.
and these little girls have a whole gang
of people to run to when mom and dad just don't cut it.
People who will invest their time
and energy into these two little girls.
They are blessed.
So their birthday party looked like this:



 It turned out to be a beautiful day.

Today.
Was Maelle ACTUAL birthday.
She turned 1.
At 11:28am.
A year ago today I woke up with contractions.
At 8:30am.
We called TK & Lindz to come watch Pea.
She was still sleeping at the time.
We went into the hospital around 9:30am.
And out she came.
TK & Lindz barely had Pea fed and dressed by the time we had called tot ell them the good news.
Maelle came so fast!
I guess she was just so excited to come into this world
and show her beautiful blue eyes.
She is the complete opposite of Pea.
It is quite funny.
She loves to be with you.
to be on you.
she embraces quality time.
one on one.
If you are a stranger,
beware of her stare.
but if you are familiar,
she'll melt your heart with her smile.
She is an amazing little girl with the most beautiful eyes I have EVER seen.
Today.
we celebrated her.
Just the 4 of us again.
and it was a great day!



So the birthdays are over.
for another year.
Thank you everyone who wished them a happy birthday.
or who came to celebrate.
It was a little bit of bright in a very dark week.




Monday, April 2, 2012

PEA TURNS 2!!!

Today,
my beautiful little Pea-Diddle turned 2!
It's rather hard to believe
time has flown by so fast.
It seems like yesterday
we were in the middle of a "LOST" marathon,
just waiting for this little person to make his or her way out into this world.
She arrived at 6:25am.
A beautiful, caring soul entered this world!
Today,
we celebrated!
It was low-key.
PERFECT.
Just the 4 of us.
Pea started her day off with a breakfast she loves!
NUTELLA!
Or "tella" as she calls it.


Then we went to visit Nana at work.
We picked up some McDonalds.
It is one of Pea's favorite places to eat!
Every time she sees it, she says "french fries!"
I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
but mommy and daddy don't mind.
haha
When we go through drive-thru,
she always has to say "hi" to the people working.
Today,
they gave her a free toy!
Just because she is THAT special.
and probably because the ladies there know us...
we are kind of regulars.



 After lunch we had some quiet time/nap.
Pea LOVES the Backyardigans
so she spent a little bit watching them.
I even found a birthday episode just for her!
She was pretty excited!


Nana came over after work for a bit and brought Pea a present.
It was a baby doll named "Jenny"
from the Sweet Shoppe.
 Pea LOVED it!
She took her shoes on and off,
fed her cupcakes,
stirred and baked.




Then Ellie Bean woke up!
So we took them outside and gave Pea a present from us.
A little tricycle.
Of course we had to spend lots of time learning to ride.
Ellie rode the little sun.



We went for a nice walk downtown
and then came back and played for a while.
Pea LOVES spray bottles!



Supper consisted of Pea's other favorite place to eat:
Pizza Pizza!
Pea had 3 slices of pizza
and Ellie ate 2 slices!
CRAZY GIRLS!
They love their pizza!



Then Brenda and Graeme came to visit.
They brought her more presents.
A Little People Campground, play dough & jeans!


And of course,
we had to end with some cake of some sort!
and a BIG MESS! lol
We decided it would be fun to put a sprinkler the shape of a 2 on her cupcake.
At first Pea thought it was cool.
Until I came closer with it.
Then she got scared of it!
and our smoke detector started going off. lol
she didn't find it funny though!
It might not have been the brightest idea! haha
Pea pretty much just ate all the icing off the cupcake
and then shared it with her sister.
It was quite adorable and Maelle thought it was hilarious
that her sister was feeding her cupcake!
They are quite the little best friends.




So all in all
it was a GREAT birthday for Pea.
She had a lot of fun!
TK & Lindz stopped by right before the girls went to bed
to wish Pea a happy birthday.
Now on to planning a double birthday party for the girls on saturday
with the whole fam
and TK & Lindz.
 Should be another fun celebration!
And then Ellie turns 1 next monday!!!
Birthdays
Birthdays
Birthdays