Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Busy Is Always Our Answer

It's been a long while since I have last blogged.
To say I have been "busy" is an understatement,
and yet I am ashamed to even admit it.
My husband + I have been 
talking about this a LOT lately.
Our lives are moving faster + faster
and yet here we are, 
adding another human into the chaos.
We are constantly on the move.
There are always meetings, work, schedules, 
appointments, errands.
When do we press the pause?
When do we say "no"?
When do we shut ourselves away and just breathe 
for one slight moment?
That slight moment is not enough.
It teases you and then you get shuffled
back into the chaos.
You wonder where your time has gone
and what have I really done 
that is beneficial to myself,
my family,
my friends,
anyone?
There is a culture that has been created
that wants you to be involved in everything,
see everything,
do everything,
BE everything.
We feel that if we are not "busy"
our life is not worthwhile.
We are wasting it
or not using our time efficiently.
But I feel it is quite the opposite.
If I am constantly running around,
if I am constantly involved in everything
giving a little bit here and a little bit there,
when I don't stop and ask God what He wants me to do,
I find that is wasting my time even more.
I am in in half-heartedly.
I am doing it out of duty.
Out of expectations
put on myself
by myself or by others.
The Lord says in Mark 2:27

"And he said to them, 
The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath"

How many times do we look at the sabbath
as a day that we need to make.
The sabbath was made FOR US! 
It was made to bless us,
to encourage us,
to lift us up and breathe life into us.
So many times, 
we look at the Sabbath as something 
WE have to do.

I do not have the answers,
I do not have it all together.
My life is a ball of craziness that I am having a hard time slowing down.
It is rolling down a hill
and gaining speed by the second.
In writing this,
I am hoping I can challenge myself + others
to slow down.
This life we are running is going too fast.
I don't believe we were made for this.
Technology has introduced us to a whole new world
where you can easily invite 
people to everything,
you can see what you are missing
and where the coolest spot to be at is.
It is making this life
one step harder.
To be that perfect,
social butterfly that has it all together.
That is at all the coolest parties and is always 
so "busy".
Is it really, honestly cool to be that busy?
Have we made being busy something to achieve?
I'm sorry,
I don't want that.
I don't want that goal.
Instead,
I would like to take it slow.
Ask God more often
where I should be and what I should be involved in.
As most of you probably know,
I am an introvert.
That being said,
I do not thrive at being involved in everything.
Social gatherings actually stress me out.
More so than I would like to admit but I know this is who I am
and God made me this way for a reason.
As much as I would love to be that social butterfly
that is at every social gathering with a huge smile on my face,
that person that has a million friends
and chats with everyone,
I know I can't
and I am beginning to learn my limits.
Saying "no" in such a fast pace world
may seem weird.
It may not want to be accepted 
but I really think we need to start
accepting it more.
Accept that people are at their limits.
Instead of stretching them more,
we need to encourage them when they know they have hit their limit
and be ok with that.
I want to stop using the word 
"busy"
when people ask how I am doing.
I want to treasure these moments when my children are young
and know that I was not too busy
to stop and smell the flowers on our walk.
I encourage you to slow down as well.




Friday, February 20, 2015

Who Are You?

Identity.
Who are we?
More importantly,
who are we in Christ?
I have been digging around a bit
in my own life.
Trying to really understand who I am.
I have a sensitive soul.
I mean SENSITIVE soul.
I used to always see it as such a negative thing.
Always the first one to cry.
Always the first one to get hurt.
But after doing a lot of soul searching
I have come to realize that it is a gift.
It’s not a flaw or a fault.
When I feel,
I feel on overload.
There is no small emotion.
I am all in, no matter what the emotion.
I have started to notice a pattern in my cry.
The Holy Spirit leads it most times.
I may sound like an absolute freak by now
and daily, I have to check my doubt and loneliness
because most days I feel so alone in this.
When I worship,
when I REALLY worship,
I well up so quickly in my soul and it comes out in tears.
I cannot sing,
I usually can barely let out a whisper,
but the tears are flowing
and I know that the Holy Spirit has touched me.
When I pray,
when I REALLY pray,
it is always silent.
The tears start flowing and the words are being said in my head.
Some people may say that is not praying.
Some people may say that the Lord doesn’t really hear
but I know He hears.
It’s so hard to explain,
to show or make people understand.
I don’t know why God made me this way,
why I feel so much
but it has become something I am thankful for.
I know I am different.
I know some people will never understand.
I know that God sees my heart.
He knows me better than I know myself
and I long to learn more as I search more.
If I sit in your presence
and am silent,
if I sit in your presence 
and I have a tear rolling down my face,
know that I am truly feeling what you are saying
and I am taking it all in.
Know that my heart is longing to speak the words
but my mouth just heaves instead.
Know that God is speaking 
and the Holy Spirit is working.
God has made us each special.
We are all different
and God uses each of us in different ways.
I am really learning this lately.

Romans 12:3-8
"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: 
Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, 
but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, 
in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
 For just as each of us has one body with many members, 
and these members do not all have the same function,
so in Christ we, 
though many, 
form one body, 
and each member belongs to all the others.
We have different gifts, 
according to the grace given to each of us. 
If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith;
if it is serving, then serve; 
if it is teaching, then teach;
if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; 
if it is giving, then give generously;
if it is to lead, do it diligently; 
if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

We are all the body of Christ
and each one of us is so different than the next.
When we truly find out who we really are in Christ,
there is so much freedom.
So much doubt gets tossed away
and confidence rises up
because we were created by the High King!
We were created to love ourselves and in that,
we can love others to the fullest!