I used to think when I was in high school
that there was something wrong with me.
I wasn't the class clown,
I wasn't the girl always answering the teachers questions,
I wasn't the teachers pet,
I was barely even remembered a lot of times from teachers.
I almost felt invisible sometimes.
School did not mix with me
because I kept to myself.
I had my core group of friends,
but beyond that,
I didn't really go.
I didn't participate in the crazy games on stage during lunch.
I wasn't in school plays
or on student council.
I was the person behind the scenes,
doing the hair and make-up for the school plays.
For the longest time,
I never really thought I had much purpose.
I saw all the extroverts,
people who everyone knew,
everyone liked,
everyone wanted to be around.
And then there was me.
In grade 12,
I pushed myself out of my little shell.
Not to be someone I wasn't,
but to see what I could do.
I pushed myself on stage for our youth rally
which was HUGE for me,
I pushed myself to be more outgoing.
but it just wasn't me.
As much as I pushed myself,
I never got over that uncomfortable feeling.
The feeling like I wasn't myself.
I thought maybe I had issues,
maybe there was something wrong.
Over the years I have really started understanding myself more and more.
There was nothing wrong with me.
There still isn't.
Not everyone is built to be on stage.
Not everyone is built to be the loud mouth.
I can still have a loud mouth,
but it is not going to be heard in front of a huge crowd.
I am much better one on one.
That is where I am strong.
I am better in small groups.
And that is ok.
I don't "HAVE" to be the center of attention.
and that's ok.
I have really started learning about my strengths,
and why God made ME the way I am.
So for all those people that constantly come up to me and say
"can't wait to see you singing on stage with your husband and little girls"
or
"when will I see you up on that stage",
it's probably not going to happen.
I am not made for that
and I have come to realize that
THAT IS OK!
As much as I push myself,
that is just not me.
We need extroverts for this world to run
but we also need the introverts!
It takes all kinds of people and just because you are not like the person next to you
does not mean that there is something wrong with you.
Luke showed me this blog the other day and I really enjoyed some of the articles I have read:
A little quote I read recently
"COME OUT OF YOUR SHELL"
"That noxious expression that fails to appreciate that some animals
naturally carry shelter wherever they go,
and that some humans are just the same"
Susan Cane "quiet"
And I saw this on Pinterest:
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