I am having a really hard time right now.
This blog is a way for me to vent.
and if I can't be honest with myself,
than who can I be honest with?
These last few days have honestly been horrible.
I am not going to lie.
They have been darn right awful!
You think that going on a trip away for a week
will be so amazing and you will come back so relaxed and ready for anything.
We really did have an amazing trip
but I was not prepared for what I came back to.
The first 2 days back were great!
I was so happy to see my girls,
they were so happy to see me.
Life was grand!
We were playing, reading stories, laughing!
Then everything changed.
The girls started getting very bold with me,
not listening,
fighting ALL THE TIME!
Ellie has been in an awful mood, talking back,
dinner has become a scream fest.
I don`t know what has happened!
Where everything went wrong.
We've had more tears in the last 3 days than we have in the last month!
I have been on the verge of insanity,
trying to hold it together but barely passing.
I know parenting is tough,
maybe I am a wimp.
Tonight,
after a scream fest at dinner,
I decided to let the girls have a bath.
It started out ok, the girls were laughing and playing together.
Then the screaming started,
the hitting started,
the splashing started,
the crying.
It was RIDICULOUS!!
I have never seen a bath turn so awful in the blink of an eye.
I took them out immediately,
got their pj`s on,
read them a story,
gave them their bottles
and put them to bed.
At 6:30pm.
Maybe I will regret it tomorrow morning when they wake up at 5am
because I put them to bed so early,
but right now,
I just can`t handle it.
I am going to lose it!
I don`t know if this is what I get for leaving them for a week,
or if it is just a phase they are starting
but something has got to change.
I am ready for Luke to be home tomorrow so I can have a break,
to re-group.
Figure out how we are going to survive this stage.
I love my girls to death!
But having 2 toddler girls in the same house while you are pregnant,
not sure if it was the greatest idea! lol
I know God gives you nothing you can't handle,
but right now,
I am really feeling like I am at the end of my rope.
Who knew parenting was so hard.
Lee Anne- i am so glad you can vent through this blog. it is so important to realease all of those feelings. you are definitely validated. as a mother of 3 i can relate. there are so many days i could want to pull my hair out and or question why i even had these kids.... but through all of the chaos most of what they throw at us is phases and stages that they are going throught. those stages change as they do and we do. At the end of the day though all that unconditional love is so worth it. Breathe my friend, take time for yourself, moderation, this too shall pass, and remember God truly will only give you what you can handle. Well i am off to get more veggie stix for Jordyn.,,, i hope you can enjoy your pregnancy and soon you will look back and laugh at all of this :) Dana
ReplyDeleteYou've probably heard this before, but repeat it to yourself "The days are long, but the years are short". I have it in my head a lot these days. I don't think anything tests us Mama's (or our kids for that matter) like the long indoor months. These Canadian winters where it is too cold, windy, and yucky to go outside put extra stress on everyone.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any words of wisdom, just letting you know that you are not alone!
Arlene