Friday, February 20, 2015

Who Are You?

Who are we?
More importantly,
who are we in Christ?
I have been digging around a bit
in my own life.
Trying to really understand who I am.
I have a sensitive soul.
I mean SENSITIVE soul.
I used to always see it as such a negative thing.
Always the first one to cry.
Always the first one to get hurt.
But after doing a lot of soul searching
I have come to realize that it is a gift.
It’s not a flaw or a fault.
When I feel,
I feel on overload.
There is no small emotion.
I am all in, no matter what the emotion.
I have started to notice a pattern in my cry.
The Holy Spirit leads it most times.
I may sound like an absolute freak by now
and daily, I have to check my doubt and loneliness
because most days I feel so alone in this.
When I worship,
when I REALLY worship,
I well up so quickly in my soul and it comes out in tears.
I cannot sing,
I usually can barely let out a whisper,
but the tears are flowing
and I know that the Holy Spirit has touched me.
When I pray,
when I REALLY pray,
it is always silent.
The tears start flowing and the words are being said in my head.
Some people may say that is not praying.
Some people may say that the Lord doesn’t really hear
but I know He hears.
It’s so hard to explain,
to show or make people understand.
I don’t know why God made me this way,
why I feel so much
but it has become something I am thankful for.
I know I am different.
I know some people will never understand.
I know that God sees my heart.
He knows me better than I know myself
and I long to learn more as I search more.
If I sit in your presence
and am silent,
if I sit in your presence 
and I have a tear rolling down my face,
know that I am truly feeling what you are saying
and I am taking it all in.
Know that my heart is longing to speak the words
but my mouth just heaves instead.
Know that God is speaking 
and the Holy Spirit is working.
God has made us each special.
We are all different
and God uses each of us in different ways.
I am really learning this lately.

Romans 12:3-8
"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: 
Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, 
but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, 
in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
 For just as each of us has one body with many members, 
and these members do not all have the same function,
so in Christ we, 
though many, 
form one body, 
and each member belongs to all the others.
We have different gifts, 
according to the grace given to each of us. 
If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith;
if it is serving, then serve; 
if it is teaching, then teach;
if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; 
if it is giving, then give generously;
if it is to lead, do it diligently; 
if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

We are all the body of Christ
and each one of us is so different than the next.
When we truly find out who we really are in Christ,
there is so much freedom.
So much doubt gets tossed away
and confidence rises up
because we were created by the High King!
We were created to love ourselves and in that,
we can love others to the fullest!

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