So lately I have really been struggling. Struggling to figure out what God wants for us as a family. I always planned to have a family of six. I grew up in a family of six and I really like the whole "Big Family" get togethers with tons of cousins for our kids to play with. Lately though, I have been having second thoughts. It is not fear. I would be ECSTATIC if I got pregnant tomorrow! I have been having these second thoughts though, about whether we should add to our family or if 2 kids is all we are supposed to have because there is a bigger picture that I cannot see right now. It is wild for me to think that I would never have a fat belly again or that I would never go through the agonizing pain of child birth or have that first moment with your child you have been carrying around in your belly for 9 months. I just can't imagine it, but then again, I can. Such mixed feelings! We are praying about it. Asking God what his plan for our family is. Luke always thought he would have a son and I always thought I would have 4 kids. Now we are both thinking otherwise. Is this coincidence? I don't think so. I guess we will just wait and see. Either way i will be happy with my family no matter what!!! I LOVE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS EARTH!