I have been struggling.
Struggling every Sunday morning lately.
Sundays are supposed to be a day to worship God as a body of Christ.
To come together and enjoy the fellowship of one another.
To learn.
It is a day to lift our praise to God
and be able to surround yourself with fellow believers while doing so.
But lately,
I have been struggling.
I wake up Sunday morning and I don't want to go to church.
I actually dread it.
With Luke's job,
he is gone a lot of Sunday mornings before the girls and I wake up.
I scramble to get them ready on my own.
Then I scramble to do whatever I can to get myself ready
and off we go.
Stressed.
Crying.
Angry.
I get to church and it's chaos.
We try to find a seat, try to keep the girls entertained.
They get antsy so off we go to the nursery.
Pea is going through a phase where she hates the nursery
unless you are in there with her.
She refuses to go to the 2 year old classroom,
but refuses to stay in the nursery on her own.
So,
I spend the entire service sitting in the nursery.
Annoyed.
Frustrated.
Angry.
It's the same thing.
Sunday after Sunday.
The odd Sunday Luke will not be helping out with anything so he can help me out.
Take them himself and let me sit in on the service.
It just makes me wonder,
why do I bother?
Why do I get up, scramble around frantically to get all of us ready?
To sit in the nursery all morning!
It would be different if I could hear the music and the message in the nursery.
Maybe feel like I am a part of the service
even though I am not.
If they had a little screen that let me feel like I was able to worship too.
But instead,
I am secluded to a play area that is a little more glorified than my living room,
to sit and watch my children play.
I can do that in the comfort of my own home.
While we are in pj's and where I can enjoy a worship service played on my computer.
I am struggling with this question:
Why do I go to church Sunday morning?
I have talked to some other moms
and they feel the same way.
But how can we make the church see this?
How can we make them understand that life is already hard for a mom
and on Sunday mornings, we still want to feel like we belong at church.
We still want to feel like we are a part of the body of Christ.
Not put into a room
to be secluded from the rest.
Maybe
this is just me.
Maybe
I am just ranting.
But
This is how I am feeling lately.
And I am having a very hard time persuading myself to get up Sunday morning to go to church.
Do you feel this way too?
I would love to hear the opinion of other moms out there!
I would love to hear the opinion of other moms out there!
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ReplyDeleteNot a mom but I totally fear Sunday mornings if we have children! As a pastor's wife, I dread doing the church thing as a "single mom" on Sunday mornings and I haven't even done it yet. I can just imagine how incredibly stressful it would feel. My thought is this: mother's don't bring young children to church expecting to get a lot out of the service themselves. They do it to create a habit for their children. Over the years, children learn that we go to church even when we don't feel like it. We go to church even when we are tired. Sometimes we get something great out of church, sometimes we don't. But if we don't go weekly it will be too easy to start going monthly, then every holiday, then not for a couple of years...it's so easy to get out of the habit. I think that's why mother's bring young children to church - to teach them commitment at a young age. To expose them to life in the church at a young age. To help them be comfortable in a church setting. Frankly, I don't think mother's get much if anything at all out of it when their children are young, but I think they hope that their commitment will benefit their children down the road.
ReplyDeleteI do think some things could possibly change in your situation. For example, the church could put a sound system in the nursery so you can hear the service. Also, are there nursery volunteers? I know they are few and far between, but churches really need this. Think about how ready you are to stay at home, imagine if your husband was not a pastor?! Imagine you were checking out a church for the first time as a single mother. There is no way you'd be back again without the support of nursery staff. Can you help to inspire more nursery workers? Your story may help the church to see a need and meet a need that could potentially attract more young families to your church. Your experience and frustration could help spear-head a much needed ministry.
ReplyDeleteLastly, it may come down to giving Pea different options (I don't assume I know how to raise your child, please don't take this as that :) She may have to be left in the 2 year old classroom even if she doesn't want to go...she may be a child who won't step out until she is forced to. I know one of my siters would have never tried anything new if my parents didn't force her to.
All the best. Excellent honest post!!!!
Thanks for your comment!
ReplyDeleteWe do have a great group of women who volunteer in the nursery and it has been amazing to see this happen! The volunteers have been really great and really helpful and wonderful with the kids.
I am meeting with the lady who is in charge of the nursery and hoping we can figure out a way to be able to hear the sermon, whether it be just speakers or a tv. Something that makes moms in the nursery feel more connected with the service, even if they can`t be actually in the sanctuary during it.
My children are wonderful children who I can pretty much leave anywhere BUT church. They HATE it lately. I can drop them off at anyone`s house and they are no problem to leave, but when it comes to church, Pea has started screaming and crying anytime I try to leave her anywhere. I know it is just a phase, but I am not comfortable leaving my child in a classroom with lots of other children to take care of screaming and crying. I know sometimes you have to give your child a push, but I am in no way feeling like that is the right choice for this situation. Pea never takes tantrums so I feel like her reaction to church is something going on inside her and until we deal with that, I am not going to just stick her in a classroom and hope that she will adjust. She is just not ready for that.
I would like to be able to give moms a chance to grow, even if they have small children who are not willing to be left in the nursery alone. I don`t believe that moms with small children can`t get something out of a Sunday morning, I think we just need to make it available for them to be part of the service.
Thank you for your input, I really appreciate it!
I agree, I think the church needs to be extra attentive to the young mother and create new ways/think outside of the box to help them be fed and feel part of the fellowship. That's great that your church has active volunteers in nursery - my experience in various churches has been that this has been an area with only 1 or 0 volunteers. Fill us in on what you do to help mothers to feel more part of the service. I'm really interested in hearing from you what works/don't work to help in this area. All the best!!
ReplyDeleteHaving the same struggle. Husband is a farmer so works most weekends and I attend church with my kiddos alone, most of the time. It was manageable with 1, a little harder with 2, now almost impossible with 3. Our nursery does have a screen and speaker system which I really appreciate. Being in a church with few young families I am often the only one in the nursery so at least I can sometimes 'ignore' the kids nd get something out of the service.
ReplyDeletesome weeks I decide it is worth the effort, but lately just don't have the energy. Youngest is going through a phase of screaming when entering nursery, and I'm not even leaving him there. he is a very active little dude and I think he has figured out that once we go in there, we have to stay for a while!
Hoping that things will be better in the fall, hoping things get better for you too.