So lately I have really been struggling. Struggling to figure out what God wants for us as a family. I always planned to have a family of six. I grew up in a family of six and I really like the whole "Big Family" get togethers with tons of cousins for our kids to play with. Lately though, I have been having second thoughts. It is not fear. I would be ECSTATIC if I got pregnant tomorrow! I have been having these second thoughts though, about whether we should add to our family or if 2 kids is all we are supposed to have because there is a bigger picture that I cannot see right now. It is wild for me to think that I would never have a fat belly again or that I would never go through the agonizing pain of child birth or have that first moment with your child you have been carrying around in your belly for 9 months. I just can't imagine it, but then again, I can. Such mixed feelings! We are praying about it. Asking God what his plan for our family is. Luke always thought he would have a son and I always thought I would have 4 kids. Now we are both thinking otherwise. Is this coincidence? I don't think so. I guess we will just wait and see. Either way i will be happy with my family no matter what!!! I LOVE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS EARTH!
Found your blog. Neat to see someone flesh this big decision out online. Thanks for sharing! So many of us have ideas of what our family will look like such as...having a boy, having a girl, a certain number of children, etc. We often want what we had growing up (it's all we know!). I know many a woman yearning to have a girl...and most guys want a son. It makes sense that we want a child that would be most like us in their outlook in life. Yet, family rarely ends up being what we pictured as children/teens/young adults. You have a nice perspective of contentment no matter what size your family may end up being.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rachel!
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