I Am An Introvert

I used to think when I was in high school

that there was something wrong with me.

I wasn't the class clown,

I wasn't the girl always answering the teachers questions,

I wasn't the teachers pet,

I was barely even remembered a lot of times from teachers.

I almost felt invisible sometimes.

 School did not mix with me

because I kept to myself.

I had my core group of friends,

but beyond that,

I didn't really go.

I didn't participate in the crazy games on stage during lunch.

I wasn't in school plays

or on student council.

I was the person behind the scenes,

doing the hair and make-up for the school plays.

For the longest time,

I never really thought I had much purpose.

I saw all the extroverts,

people who everyone knew,

everyone liked,

everyone wanted to be around.

And then there was me.

In grade 12,

I pushed myself out of my little shell.

Not to be someone I wasn't,

but to see what I could do.

I pushed myself on stage for our youth rally

which was HUGE for me,

I pushed myself to be more outgoing.

but it just wasn't me.

As much as I pushed myself,

I never got over that uncomfortable feeling.

The feeling like I wasn't myself.

I thought maybe I had issues,

maybe there was something wrong.

Over the years I have really started understanding myself more and more.

There was nothing wrong with me.

There still isn't.

Not everyone is built to be on stage.

Not everyone is built to be the loud mouth.

I can still have a loud mouth,

but it is not going to be heard in front of a huge crowd.

I am much better one on one.

That is where I am strong.

I am better in small groups.

And that is ok.

I don't "HAVE" to be the center of attention.

and that's ok.

I have really started learning about my strengths,

and why God made ME the way I am.

So for all those people that constantly come up to me and say

"can't wait to see you singing on stage with your husband and little girls"

or 

"when will I see you up on that stage",

it's probably not going to happen.

I am not made for that

and I have come to realize that

THAT IS OK!

As much as I push myself,

that is just not me.

We need extroverts for this world to run

but we also need the introverts!

It takes all kinds of people and just because you are not like the person next to you

does not mean that there is something wrong with you.

Luke showed me this blog the other day and I really enjoyed some of the articles I have read:

http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/

A little quote I read recently

"COME OUT OF YOUR SHELL"

"That noxious expression that fails to appreciate that some animals 

naturally carry shelter wherever they go,

and that some humans are just the same"

Susan Cane "quiet"

And I saw this on Pinterest:

 

The Joys Of Parenting

I am having a really hard time right now.

This blog is a way for me to vent.

and if I can't be honest with myself,

than who can I be honest with?

These last few days have honestly been horrible.

I am not going to lie.

They have been darn right awful!

You think that going on a trip away for a week

will be so amazing and you will come back so relaxed and ready for anything.

We really did have an amazing trip

but I was not prepared for what I came back to.

The first 2 days back were great!

I was so happy to see my girls,

they were so happy to see me.

Life was grand!

We were playing, reading stories, laughing!

Then everything changed.

The girls started getting very bold with me,

not listening,

fighting ALL THE TIME!

Ellie has been in an awful mood, talking back, 

dinner has become a scream fest.

I don`t know what has happened! 

Where everything went wrong.

We've had more tears in the last 3 days than we have in the last month!

I have been on the verge of insanity,

trying to hold it together but barely passing.

I know parenting is tough,

maybe I am a wimp.

Tonight,

after a scream fest at dinner,

I decided to let the girls have a bath.

It started out ok, the girls were laughing and playing together.

Then the screaming started,

the hitting started,

the splashing started, 

the crying.

It was RIDICULOUS!!

I have never seen a bath turn so awful in the blink of an eye.

I took them out immediately,

got their pj`s on, 

read them a story,

gave them their bottles

and put them to bed.

At 6:30pm.

Maybe I will regret it tomorrow morning when they wake up at 5am

because I put them to bed so early,

but right now, 

I just can`t handle it.

I am going to lose it!

I don`t know if this is what I get for leaving them for a week,

or if it is just a phase they are starting

but something has got to change.

 I am ready for Luke to be home tomorrow so I can have a break,

to re-group.

Figure out how we are going to survive this stage.

I love my girls to death!

But having 2 toddler girls in the same house while you are pregnant,

not sure if it was the greatest idea! lol

I know God gives you nothing you can't handle,

but right now,

I am really feeling like I am at the end of my rope.

Who knew parenting was so hard.

 

The Battle

Facebook.

I have been battling facebook for a while now.

They say facebook has opened up a whole new way to communicate.

but then again

it has closed so many forms of communication.

I really like facebook for being able to share pictures and videos

of my girls to my best friends that are out of town.

I love how easy it is for them to be able to be part of our lives,

even when they live so far away

and we only get to see each other maybe once a year.

Other than that,

I really dislike facebook.

I hate how facebook has made it so easy to see what 

is going on with people in your very own town.

Instead of calling them up

or having them over for tea,

you can go to their page and get caught up on everything that has

been going on in their lives lately.

I am such a culprit for this.

It is aweful!

You can creep peoples pages without leaving a trace.

Facebook makes "relationships" too easy.

It bothers me.

but can you really call them "relationships"?

"friendships"?

 Everything is done online.

Life outside of the online world is non existant.

I am really having a hard time with this.

I have debated deleting my facebook for this very fact,

but then I am cutting out those closest to me that are so far away.

 I am not sure how to balance it

or how to change it.

Facebook.

My daily dilema.

and where do I go from here?

I have wasted too much time on this silly little site.

time away from my girls.

time away from my husband.

Does anyone else have this problem?

It sucks you in.

If you have any curious bone in your body,

you find yourself going from one page to the next.

But where do you call it quits?

How do you break this habit?

Do you just cut it off?

 

Documenting

I wanted to document the girls.

I know,

most of you are probably saying

"oh my gosh, does she not have enough pictures of her girls?"

but the thing is,

these pictures are a way of me remembering.

Remembering all those little moments that I would most likely forget.

Remembering the little things

like the way Pea always puts a blanket over her baby

and Ellie like to put her babies on time out.

I can remember how much Pea cares for her babies

and how Ellie constantly feeds hers.

I can remember the thousands of kisses 

they give out each day

and how they love to brush their teeth and will do

so for over an hour if I let them.

I want to remember all the little things that make them who they are.

I love that I can watch them grow every day.

Learn new things

and change.

I love that I can notice each little stepping stone

because I share the journey with them.

I love that I can whip out my camera and follow them around for 

a morning just to remember where they spend their mornings.

I documented a morning of their sweet little lives.

It consisted of babies, babies & more babies.

With a little teeth brushing as well.

They are in love with babies right now.

Dressing, feeding, burping, swaddling, changing bums, rocking.

Anything that involves a baby,

they are there.

It is quite amazing to watch them with their little dolls.

To see how God put such a nurturing nature into our souls.

Even at the young ages of 1 & 2.

So here is our morning, in pictures....

Anger

I have been spending the last 2 days

trying to process what is going on in this world.

trying to make sense of it all.

but is there any sense to make of it?

I have been trying to understand.

to show love without anger.

but the truth is,

I am angry.

I am angry that a man can kill innocent children.

I am angry that this scenario is even possible.

that this world has gone so dark.

I know there is light in this world.

but sometimes it is hard to cut through the darkness 

to be able to see the light.

This whole thing broke my heart.

and as much as I don't want to admit,

it shot fear right into me.

fear for my own children.

that I can't even send them to school knowing that they will be safe.

I have decided to homeschool. 

At least for the first few years.

Not because of this reason.

I have known for a while now.

but because of this, it makes me want to do it so much more.

I know I cannot keep my children in a bubble.

I know I cannot keep them from harm.

but there is so much evil in this world

and it honestly scares me.

and if I can keep my children away from that evil for even

a fraction of time, I want to.

I want to do everything I can!

I cannot even imagine what the mothers of those children

in Connecticut feel at this moment.

I know I would not be as strong as some.

I know the Lord is with them,

and He is pouring His peace and love into them.

but I just can't imagine what they are going through.

It takes guts to live in this world and not hide from it.

It takes even more guts to bring children into this world.

Where do we go from here?

What happens next?

I can say all the things that Christians would say at this time like

God is our protector

and we should not live in fear

and love is the answer

but at the moment,

I am angry at our world.

and I am fearful of what's yet to come.

I know God did not do this.

I know God had no part in it.

It is just the opposite.

The world has rejected God.

Sin has crept in and taken over.

It frightens me,

what man is capable of.

I will hold my girls tight

and love them with everything I have in me!

Day To Day

Every day is a new day.

I never know what the day will bring.

Each day brings 

surprises.

laughs.

 regularities.

unpredictability.
Staying home with my two girls is never boring.

never slow.

never quiet.

Here is a glimpse into the house of the Haggett's:

*Every time the furnace comes on, Ellie says "HOT Mommy, HOT!"

*Priscilla asks for a dance party at least once a day.

*Never give a 2&1/2 and 1&1/2 year old glitter and glue because you 

will be seeing glitter all over the house for the next year.

*You better be able to sing & pray if you are going to put my children to bed.

*Ellie does NOT stop talking. EVER! She will repeat the same thing 100 times 

if she feels it is appropriate and she will not stop talking from the minute she 

wakes up until the moment she goes to sleep. ALWAYS BLABBING!!!

*every day Ellie has a saying she says over and over randomly throughout the day

ex. "Papa's hands dirty" "I don't like puppets" "finger in the door"

*you cannot go into the bathroom without both girls asking to brush their teeth

*Pea is obsessed with helping in the kitchen from doing dishes to making dinner

*When I am having a rough day with the girls, Pea asks daddy to do a craft for mommy

On Hold

I regret to inform you

that my dreads will be put on hold.

It saddens me to be saying this

but I just can't do it.

I have spent the past week trying.

Dreads are ridiculously hard! 

At least if you want to do them properly and have them look nice.

I am a person that is persistent on getting it right.

I won't do it unless I can do it properly.

and I just can't get it.

I can do many things to my own hair but

dreads,

I just can't.

So....

until I can find a ridiculously amazing dreader

in my area or I go to Massachusetts

where my dream dreader lives,

I will have to just wait.

and in the meantime,

I may have braids more often than not

just because it gives me a little feeling of dreads

and makes me feel happy!

On a side note:

If you read my last blog,

you will know that yesterday was an AWFUL day.

but I have to say,

this morning was WONDERFUL!

The girls and I baked some cheese biscuits 

and had a little tea party.

There was cheese squished into our carpet in the kitchen

(WHO PUTS CARPET IN THE KITCHEN!?!?!?!?!)

and Maelle ended up dumping cups of flour on her lap

when I had turned my head

but all in all,

it's been a GREAT day!

 

"some days are like that, even in Australia"

Alexander and the terrible , horrible, no good, very bad day